random thoughts

My car loan is on sign loop … and got two signatures already – three more to go!!! ;=) After a month-long wait … I can see the end of my car-less struggle! Hmmm … it doesn’t normally take a month … but the fickle-minded, indecisive and perfectionist person that I am … I decided to explore my options! It’s funny because I really don’t have a lot — with a very limited budget and all! ;=)

But it was fun … car shopping! Never in my wildest dreams did i think that someday I will actually be lining up in a car dealership to pick out my brand-new car! Hmmm … or maybe I just didn’t dream in those gritty details! My dreams were the ‘basic’ (and vague) ones … you know … comfortable life, secured future, etc. I’ve never broken down my dreams into what house and car to buy (what model, what make, what color!!! :=)

I decided on a silver Toyota Vios — true, it’s not a Ferrari or BMW or even a high-end Honda – but it’s mine and it’s my first brand new car! ;=) It was more of a process of elimination actually … not really that of love at first sight! I only have Php200K to spend (Php500K will be coming from the loan), I have few days before EVAT might be signed into a law which will make me pay 6% more of what I will be paying pre-EVAT and the worst reason why I chose Toyota Vios … Toyota Dasmarinas Cavite is the nearest car dealer in Intel!!! ;=) True, Vios is by far one of the most fuel-efficient cars out there … and the high end 1.5G is the best value for money I can find (and the fact that Britney Spears was the model when it was launched didn’t hurt either … ) but still … my reason for finally deciding on it were, to say the least, trivial! Even the color, I decided on deduction … eventually my deciding factor was practicality and functionality! – Silver, based on statistics has the highest safety rating! — ;=) And then it hit me … am I going through life making choices based on process of elimination? Am I living my life based on what I don’t want rather than what I want? Have I ever made a decision because I’m passionate about it even if it defies logic and basic reason? Have I been living my life in the boundaries of safety and practicality? Hmmm … scary thoughts! ;=)

The past month has been a series of defining moments for me! Having my heart broken (over and over again, if I may add – the succeeding heartbreaks were self-induced, BTW! ;=) has made me think about who I really am! And what I’m really made of! And what I really want! And what my deepest passion is! Ahhh … it’s still a work in progress! ;=)

People say that life’s bad experiences makes one a better person … I tend to agree with them! I hope it was not for nothing …