sadness hypothesis
It’s funny … I’ve been feeling down in the dumps recently … and it doesn’t help that everywhere I turn … I see red everything … hearts and cupid cutouts! They’re hanging from the ceiling … or attached to the cube walls! … I love red … (is it obvious?? ;=) it’s my favorite color (I actually think I look good whenever I wear something red! … yeah sometimes you just need to believe that you look good … and act like it … hehe ;=) But this is just too much! I’m not cynical and i’m not anti-Valentine’s … nope … I’ve said over and over again that I’m a firm believer of true love … I love love … I love the feeling … but what is it exactly recently that made me feel this way?
Hmmm … can it be because I just attended a friend’s super romantic wedding –- ah, alone! — in baluarte de san diego in intramuros — the place is just so amazing! -– that I am confronted with the utter emptiness of my pathetic lovelife? (hmmm … what lovelife? – exactly! … gosh, I’m talking to myself! ;=)
… can it be that I’ve been spending so much time at work and spending so much time in front of my laptop that all human contact I have are with people I see in meetings or in the hallways to talk about work, work and work?!! …
… can it be that I’ve been perfecting the art of not-so-fine-but-not-fastfood-either dining alone for the past few weeks (I told myself that I wouldn’t wait to be with someone to try out all the nice restaurants that catches my fancy … ) that despite my firm resolve not to be fazed by the implied aloneness of eating across an empty chair … I still feel … well … alone! ;=)
… can it be that I’ve been indulging myself in really mushy love songs and equally mushy novels this past week that it gives me a false foreboding hope that someday somehow … that happy ending I just read will be my love story?
… can it be just it’s Valentine’s! that once-a-year feeling happening coincidentally in Feb! and that come March it will mysteriously go away! Hmmm … I don’t want to think about it anymore … I don’t want to be sad anymore! Life is too short to waste feeling lonely just because THE ONE hasn’t arrived yet!
… or can it be because it’s been 30minutes since I launched my crystal ball script trying to pull some dietemp data that some Israeli asked me to do and it’s still not over yet! … yeah! I think it’s that! Open and shut case! It’s my damn yield report again! ;=)
