random thoughts

I watched the movie “My Bestfriend’s Wedding” again … probably watched it 100 times already but I don’t care! (I am like that, BTW … I can watch a movie over and over again even back to back and I don’t get tired of it! hmmm … I need to research what personality flaw is that … I’m pretty sure it’s a flaw! ;=) Okay … 100 times maybe an exaggeration: 100*2 hours = 200 hours of my life spent watching a movie about someone who pursued love and didn’t succeed! … who realized way too late that she loved someone … who after years of not admitting or recognizing love for that specific person finally succumbed to it only to be rejected … someone who didn’t seize the moment before … and when she finally did, she got hurt since her feelings were unrequited after all! … sad movie! very sad movie! ;=) (talk about inflicting pain! I’m a masochist!!! ;=) hahaha

So why am I sharing this? It’s not that I can relate to the movie … no … no … of course not! I cannot relate to having jilted before! I cannot relate to having unrequited love before!!! Unrequited what? … see, do not even know the meaning of the word! ;=) hahaha

Who am I kidding?! I’ve had my share of unrequited love! I’ve had my share of ‘loving’ someone from a distance hoping against hope that that person likes –- better yet, loves -– me, too! I’ve had my share of grinning stupidly the whole day like a dumb school girl because my crush (‘LOML’) called me on the phone! ;=) (And I’m not talking of days long gone … more like a not-so-distant-past! ;=) Funny … we always hear the quote “If you love someone, you have to say it, out loud, or the moment just passes you by” (and its many other variation which pretty much means the same thing) … and you begin to wonder whether admitting to someone that you love …er … like … them is really the way to go! Do you say anything? Do you just wait? Okay … maybe not downright confession but more like giving not-so-obvious hints … those read-between-the-lines-super-gray-area-double-meaning messages and hoping that the guy is smart enough to figure it out! ;=) What do you do exactly? My friends always joke around that I have way too many crushes! (ahhh … at my age, it’s not normal! ;=) hahaha another personality flaw! ;=) Many crushes is unrequited love multiplied many times over! ;=) I really don’t act on it … I am contented admiring someone from a distance! If we become friends, well and good! If not, well and good also! I don’t scheme or orchestrate meetings so as to be close to the person … (hmmm … on second thought … I do scheme to some extent … ;=) I don’t go to extra lengths just to be noticed! … I am a believer of fate and destiny and people meeting at God-appointed time! I believe that that special person that comes to our life is a gift and is freely given … not a prize that one has to fight so hard for! I am a firm believer of ‘effortless’ love! That love … if meant to be … will just happen naturally! No interventions … No drastic moves … No well-thoughtout strategy … No modus operandi! Hmmm … strong beliefs! ;=) … now you understand why I’m still single! ;=) hehe Another solved mystery! ;=)