(hypothetical) sadness … again!
I’m sad … well today in particular … ;=) I usually go to great lengths thinking of a nice way to start my blog … but today I don’t feel like it! actually, I don’t feel like doing much … (but I have to do my paper in marketing … so you can just imagine the effort!!! … I even invited people to eat out for lunch … well nothing fancy really … just Jollibee … but way way better than eating here in the good old Intel cafeteria! … I just feel so sad … it’s bordering on irrational depression … hehe … not really! ;=)
So why am I sad? A good sign of emotional intelligence, I read, is that you recognize your emotions and define the reasons behind it. so here’s my feeble attempt to hypothetically define my current melancholic state …
I am sad when people just disappear … no, not by magic … and no … they’re not hiding somewhere in a concealed compartment either! I am sad when people who seem to be your new found friends and will stay with you forever (well … not really forever … but you get the drift, right?) and then … without warning … they just disappear! They’re gone … without goodbyes … without reason! Maybe they found newer friends … maybe they’re busy with work … maybe they don’t see what you shared as something to be cherished! Haay … whatever the explanation … it’s sad when that happens! Well, maybe they’ll come back … maybe you get to spend some time together again … maybe …
I am sad when I know I need to be doing something (like my overdue marketing paper … ) and I don’t do it! I am sad when I am faced with a mediocre version of myself … when I know I can do better … and I know I am worth more … and I know that I am shortchanging myself … but I don’t do anything! Different reasons … laziness, fear, or just plain complacence … I am sad when I see people doing what I think I should be doing … what I know I should be doing … what I know I can do just as good as them … but I just don’t have the guts to do them!
I am sad when I miss people … but they don’t seem to miss me. I am sad when I am always the one to initiate emails … or txt … or calls … even more saddened when there’s no reply. I am sad knowing that at some point in my life … we had it good … and spent really memorable times together and a few years later … they’re nothing but that … memories! I am sad when people don’t keep in touch … when people forget … when people don’t care as much …
Last of all … I am sad when I don’t make any sense … when I get so worked up on seemingly trivial matters! when I fail to see the goodness and blessing in people and things around me!
Oh well … but sadness is good because it allows me to look deeper into myself … it gives me a jolt back to reality of where my life is headed and where it is at … it forces me to re-evaluate my priorities … in a way sadness (indirectly) gives me hope that it’s not too late for a fresh new start …
Hmmm … yeah, I guess it’s healthy to be sad and pensive once in a while … just need to snap out of it quick … else I will be writing all these crappy “I am sad” blogs all the time … ;=) (and you wouldn’t like me so much anymore and you will pity me … and … ;=) hehe
