random thoughts

it’s not the time of the year yet … i’m not supposed to be sad (and pensive and introspective and dramatic and … hmmm … i’m running out of ’sad’ adjectives!!! … ) yet! that happens only on oct 27 (my birthday!), dec 25 and on sept 23! (many people ask me why sept 23 … what is so significant about it? sept 23 is when i made my life-altering decision of coming to work at Intel! yeah … it is so life-altering that it is included in my special, pensive and introspective days! hehe … well, i really don’t plan on being sad … (that sounds weird, BTW! … since when do people mark their calendars to be sad, right?!)  … i just felt it these past days because of this stupid issue i have at work! … (hmmm … really tempting to explain what the issue was … but i think it’s intel confidential! hehe) …

people always say that work is just a part of life … and i envy them. I wish i can say that work is just a part of my life … like 40% part of it … with the greater 60% dedicated to more meaningful, worthwhile, fulfilling endeavors! i wish i can say that i have so much more going on in my life and that issues at the office remains at the office when i go home by 5pm (or in the case of my schedule here in FM … 8pm!) … i wish i can say that work do not rule my life … that my life does not revolve around work … and that my life takes precedence and importance over anything work-related!  … yeah … i wish! and i want to say it! … but i think it will be sooo hypocritical of me if i do! :(  work has taken over my life so much that at some point, it literally gives me nightmares … (hmmm … not really those kind that wakes you up screaming … but more like you dream about it … hmmm … so basically i’m working 24 hrs!) hehehe) … it was bad enough that my work defines my life … now, my mood is dictated by my work!!!

hmmm … maybe this is my much-needed sign … maybe this is the wake-up call i need to really move my butt and start looking into other options! … it’s also a weird coincidence that this is happening right now … right in the middle of all the other personal confusion non-intel related going on in my life (yeah, what’s left of it anyways) … hmmm … i would be blind and really stupid if i just pass this big one up and just wait until the calm comes back without doing anything … yeah, that would be really stupid and i think that’s what my life has been … waiting for the calm … going with the tide …

yeah … i should do something … okay, i will pray on it! … haven’t really done that in a long time … well, not in the absolute sense of the word!

how time flies … it’s been more than a month since i last updated my blog! i remember being super excited about coming here to the US again … and writing a blog everyday to chronicle and prove that excitement! well, it’s been 2 months since i arrived … and in 3 weeks i am going back to the Philippines again! i want to say that i am really, really excited about going home … (i am?! … i am! … but i just have this weird feeling that it will take a long time before i come back here again! … well, for sure,  it won’t be through Intel since i don’t think i will accept any more Intel projects … it will have to be through my own personal expense! hmmm … for starters, i don’t have a B1/B2 visa … and from the looks of it … unless i get a visa through Intel … it won’t be easy — i fit the profile of someone who can go TNT! hehehehe hmmm … i will have to come here via other means — fiance visa doesn’t sound so bad! hehehehe

anywho … just thought i’d write a short note … i do have tons of stories waiting to be written … hmmm … maybe in 3 weeks i will have time … and inspiration to write them all down … yeah, maybe on my flight back to Manila!