random thoughts

Something unexpected happened today …

I joined a badminton tourney in the office (smashing couple ’08) and actually won! JJJ hehe totally unexpected!!! Fine, it’s Level D, the lowest level there is but still …

I usually do not join tournaments, especially those sporty stuff (hmmm … is there a non-sporty tournament?! J) … I’m just not cut out for it! Don’t get me wrong … I do play and I’m a persistent, trying-hard at that … but actually joining tournaments and being competitive is just not my thing. Reason? My usual response to anyone who cares to ask … i just don’t want to subject myself to that kind of emotional stress! I am emotionally stressed as it is! J (hmmm … I guess I need to explain further huh? … J okay, here goes … I am a very competitive person … er … mayzelle-translation? someone who doesn’t like to lose (hmmm … who does?!) … I feel bad when I lose and I feel bad if I cause a team to lose … hmmm … this is egotistical me speaking! J I’d rather not play, competitively that is, than see myself lose … (hmmm … now that I’m actually writing this down … it sounds so pathetic! … I don’t mean to say that I didn’t participate in anything at all growing up for fear of losing … hmmm, I’ve had spelling bee and quiz bee! J (NERD!) hehe … I guess the non-pathetic way of putting it is I pick my battles and just do the things I know I can win …  J hmmm … long segue to my main topic … J 

Anywho, I finally joined one sporty tournament and that happened yesterday … main reason? They’re in dire need of girls to play and I am a girl who can play … take note: they’re in dire need of girls who PLAY — not necessarily good – and I am one of them badminton-can-play, addicts! J … And so I joined … and I played! My original partner (Jun!) cannot make it and we needed to find someone else fast! One of my work friends was free –- okay, his name is Roy — and he filled in for Jun! Yesterday was the first time that we actually played together; it was only few minutes before the game that we ‘strategized’ what we will do! We won the elimination round but I think it was a good stroke of beginner’s luck! And then we won the ‘semi-final’ round robin round … and then the final round! Amazing! I actually win sporty tourneys now! Hehe (well, Roy had a lot to do with that win! J hmmm … hopefully I’ll have the same fate in my March 30 bowling tournament! J hehe (hmmm … I play bowling and actually joined a bowling tourney … I guess that will be another blog … and one which I will definitely write if we win! J 

Oh well … I guess I’m changing … (another blog again!) … I’m beginning to not take myself too seriously … I am beginning to take more chances and more risks …

I am beginning to really realize … that losing won’t kill me and that there are valuable lessons in every experience, in every competition, win or lose …

… that the actual experience far exceeds the theoretical model and that knowing something is only half the fun than actually experiencing it …

… that the greatest mistake one can have is to miss out on all the fun just because I fear losing!

Wow … good realizations from a simple accidental unexpected level D badminton tournament win! J 

i just realized that the blog i just posted was my first for the year (well, this would be the second one!!!) ;=) i actually had grand plans when the year started to update this every so often — yeah, part of my (seemingly now forgotten) New Year’s resolution! I wanted to write and bare my thoughts, not just on ‘mayzelle’-centric stuff ;=) … but really make a statement about different issues and topics! i wanted to be able to take a stand (and defend it well) on current events … from the US presidential elections, to the Philippine Senate hearing on the NBN deal to something as mundane and vain as the current fashion trend! Yeah, i wanted to be miss know-it-all (or at least establish the perception … that i know it all!) ;=)  hehe … I wanted to be someone who’s in touch with what’s going on in the world, someone who’s just not watching in the sidelines but someone who has a say, actually says it and do something about it! … well, tall order and high expectations! ;=) haha … hmmm … and i want to do all of that via a blog!!! — maybe i should review my course of action a little bit! ;=) hehe but yeah, blog is one medium and it’s a good start! ;=) hopefully, i’ll get to the other media soon … ;=)

I should be fast asleep by now. I woke up at 2am yesterday to catch up on some work backlog and didn’t go back to sleep anymore … so I’ve been awake for almost 24 hours now as I write this — with maybe some much-coveted power naps throughout the day! I also had a good round of badminton earlier today … played 7 (or maybe games … so I should be dead tired by now, right? ;=) wrong … I can actually force myself to sleep … I never really had any difficulty sleeping … I am one of those people who can sleep anywhere and anytime (and any position! … my classic sleeping story is how I sleep while standing in the bus during my long-gone college days!) So what is haunting me right now forcing me to a night of unintentional vigil?

… maybe it’s because I am thinking of someone, friends who left whom I dearly miss?

… maybe it’s the excitement for the coming weekend? … two of my friends are getting married, one flew all the way from San Jose, CA to get married here and the other one is a really close guy friend (fine, it’s Erick!) ;=) … weird thing is, I was so looking forward to their weddings … only to learn about two weeks back … that they’re getting married on the same day … at the same time!!! … one in Las Pinas, the other in QC! I am not about to do what Jane (in 27 dresses) did where she multi-attend (!) a wedding, shuffling back and forth to two weddings on the same night … yeah, I won’t be crazy to do that since for one, I won’t be taking a cab and as bad as the traffic in Manila is, I will probably be only able to afford one trip from Las Pinas to QC and both weddings will be over!) My brilliant plan: I will attend Erick (and Joy)’s first and then leave for QC! ;=) hahaha yeah, brilliance in the simplicity of it all!!! And did I mention that the DLSU GSB (Graduate School of Business) Night is happening on that night also? That once-a-year DLSU GSB event which in all my 7 (!) years of trying to finish my MBA, i have attended only once … and which I think will be my last since I will graduate this year already (I wish!) … yeah, that one and I really want to attend it! Should be a great night to network … ;=) I was telling my friend that I usually have boring, stay-at-home Saturday nights — talk about non-existent social life — but this weekend will be a taste of how it is to actually have a life! hehe

— maybe it’s my anxiety over the longer-term future? I’ve been very vocal of late that I plan to resign … soon … though that has been one moving target since last year! But I think this is the year … this is the year where I will (finally!) leave my comfort zone and try something new! At 32 years old, that’s pretty scary … exciting scary! Scarier though is the fact that even up to now, I really don’t know what I really, really want to do yet! … I have … er … options! ;=) (BTW, marriage is one of the options! Hahaha … like I can do it on my own volition — no dependency on anything whatsoever … )

… hmmm … or maybe it’s the (really!) bad videoke singing (at 2am!) in the house across the street! They started around 5 hours ago and just won’t quit yet! Music is supposed to lull people to sleep but theirs just do not have that same effect on me! ;=) hehehe Yeah, that’s it! ;=)

oh well, only good thing from this? i have updated my blog — went two months without any updates — for a trying hard, addict blogger wannabe, that’s pretty long! ;=)