random thoughts

It’s my birthday today … I guess yesterday would be the more apt term since I’m not really online and writing this in draft and will be able to post this only tomorrow … which makes my birthday … yesterday! J hahaha … I confused you ha! J

Anyways … i had the grandest time-alone plan for my birthday … I forecasted a 1.5 days off until the morning after (so I don’t have to wake up early!) … the plan was on the day of my birthday, I will stay overnight in Sonya’s Garden (they have bed and breakfast!) … I will go for a full body massage, manicure, pedicure, foot spa – the works! J yup … it will be my kikay, time-alone birthday celebration! J I will stay part of the day with my family … will go home the night before and then will leave around lunch time …  Yup … grand plan! J Of course, I just came from a weekend CLP the day before … so it’s complete –- I had the full weekend with God and the brothers and sisters from Lingkod, I will stay overnight in my parents house and then time alone! – The week before, we did a GK build in GK Munting Paraiso (in Trece Martires City)  … there were 23 of us … we help complete a floor of one house – this is my pre-birthday celebration as well – a first for me to do charity work for my birthday! – see complete celebration! J

Anywho … I was able to accomplish my birthday celebration plan up until the point of going to my parents house and staying overnight … my niece and nephew stayed for the weekend as well … since it’s their semestral break from school … I wasn’t able to leave by lunchtime since it took some time for them to be ready … I was able to drop them off at their (other) grandparents’ house in Cavite around 5pm … and then since I was in the area and there’s one last bank errand I wasn’t able to do last Friday … I went for that last bank errand … and before I knew it … it was already 6pm! No more time to go to Sonya’s Garden! I also convinced myself that it’ll be very expensive to do that grand plan and I have more pressing needs for my money … rather than splurging it one shot in my spa adventure! So there … to cut the long, rather unfortunate story short … I didn’t go for it anymore! But I do plan on still doing it one day … I owe myself one the-works-spa adventure …  J I ended up doing my Sunday ritual (see last blog — J) … I had kani salad and California maki dinner in Teriyaki Boy … then I stayed in Starbucks Tagaytay! … J and then I wrote this blog! … haha! Nothing special about my day then since it’s just like any ordinary Sunday … J but it was still very special … for one it was a Monday! hehe (I had a long weekend!!!)  … I had so many text messages throughout the day … (I only have that many messages during Christmas and New Year! J … I received several phone calls … one of them, overseas … (from Nevo!) … I even had an MMS from Van with a very special picture of someone J … and a very big picture of V-Cut, Cheese flavor (the only junk food I cannot resist at the moment … the rest I can … well, except maybe for Starbucks chocolate-dipped doughnuts or Starbucks caramel coffee jelly frapuccino, or … ) hehe … yup, it was out of the ordinary and not just another Sunday ritual … it was made special by friends! J Yes, I was still alone but I actually preferred it that way! J  I don’t know … call me weird … but I love these times alone! J

It’s my 33^rd … and truth be told, it’s kinda scary … although I think I’m becoming immune to the ‘why-don’t-you-have-a-BF-yet’ comment already … I was telling one of my friends that a lot of the birthday wishes I got was for me to find someone already (someone … and its many variations:  special someone, life partner, boyfriend, long lasting lovelife!) … and I told her that since a lot of people wished that for me … hopefully, God will listen already and grant it! J hehehe It’s scary but I think this year was different … I had worse panic attack about the same subject in previous years … J I think it’s that knowledge and confidence that God knows what He’s doing … J and that He knows my heart’s desires … one of them is obviously that … but He will grant it in His perfect time. I still wish it’ll be this year … as I have wished in years past … but if not, then I will continue to hope and wish on my next years … J hehe Of course, I know that eventually, my heart will be after God’s own heart … and that it will be formed after His own will … J

What are my other wishes? I wish to know where to go from here … I still have until April to discern and figure things out … (hmmm … I haven’t written a blog about that yet …  will do so one of these days … this will just be the prelude to that blog … J ) I have so many options (Praise God for the many options! J) … which makes everything very very confusing! That –- and my lack of conviction on what I really really want to do is adding to the already chaotic state of my heart and mind! Anywho … that’s my wish … that I will come up with a decision already … that I will be able to map out my life already … that I will be able to choose a life not because it was the easy route to take … the path of least resistance … but because it was what I was created for … that I will fulfill my purpose for existence … that I will be led to the completion of my life mission! J Hmmm … tough wishes … it’s no wonder God was taking His time revealing them to me! J hehe

Before I end, I want to take this time to thank everyone who remembered … and for those who didn’t … it’s oct 27^th! J hehehe Thank you all for the great friendships … it’s a cliché but I will say it anyways … a big part of who I am now is because of the great relationships I had with all of you (well, not really all of you since this is an open blog … but, you know what I mean, right!) … and I am forever indebted to you all! J Mahal ko kayo! J